The Language of the Soul: How to Hear What People Aren’t Saying

Let’s be honest: sometimes the most sacred moments in our ministry and medical work don’t happen during Bible studies or altar calls—they happen in exam rooms, standing next to hospital beds, and sitting across the desk in counseling chairs. These are moments when a patient or someone we meet in the community drops their guard just long enough to say something real.

“I just want peace.”
“I wish I could feel joy again.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever really felt loved.”

And suddenly you’re standing on holy ground.

The tricky part? Many of these people don’t identify as religious, and they’d never walk into a church or start a conversation with, “Tell me about Jesus.” But when we or our patients use these terms we are discussing deep, spiritual matters—without using religious words. Love, joy, and peace are not just as abstract ideals, but these are words that provide practical tools for every physician and pastor trying to connect soul-to-soul in a secular world.

Let’s Start with the Obvious—We’re All Winging It a Little

If you’re a health professional or spiritual leader, chances are you’ve had a moment where you thought:

“I want to say something helpful here… but I don’t want to come off weird or pushy.”

Good. That hesitation is healthy. It means you care about the person and you’re listening for more than a quick spiritual soundbite.

This blog post does not intend to provide you a script. It’s purpose is to provide a framework—a way to recognize the spiritual gifts of love, joy, and peace as entry points into deeper conversations, even with people who aren’t asking for Jesus by name.

LOVE: The Most Disarming Power in the Room

What the world thinks:

Love means being nice. Or feeling butterflies. Or being accepted for who I am.

What the soul really craves:

To be fully known and still chosen. To feel safe enough to stop performing.

As pastors and physicians, we see it all the time—people striving to be enough, terrified of rejection, carrying invisible wounds from relationships that didn’t deliver. And here’s the kicker: when someone encounters unselfish love, it’s disorienting. It feels divine—because it is.

Paul told the Greeks they were worshiping an “unknown God” (Acts 17:23). Although God IS love, and many of our patients and people we meet are yearning and longing for love, yet they don’t recognize God as the love they are yearning for when they see Him.

“God is love… and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”
(1 John 4:7–8)

“The law of love is the foundation of the government of God, and the happiness of all created beings depended upon their perfect accord with its great principles of righteousness.”
— Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 34

What you can say in a clinical or counseling moment:

• “It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of giving, and I am sure the response you get when giving feels good and like you are being loved. What would it look like for you to be known and loved, even if you had nothing more to give?
• “Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. Is your soul craving for connection more than solutions?”

Practical insight: When people feel loved without condition, their defenses drop. This makes room not just for conversation, but for healing—emotional, relational, even physical.

JOY: The Quiet Courage to Keep Going

What the world thinks:

Joy is what you feel on vacation. Or at a wedding. Or when you finally reach your goal.

What the soul really needs:

As Christians we understand joy is based on faith. What mankind is really yearning for is a faith that is deep and trusting, that provides us assurance so great that we are filled with joy. The human soul longs for for a kind of joy that has a foundation of faith, that doesn’t vanish when the diagnosis is bad or the marriage is failing. We desire a kind joy that may find itself sitting in the ashes but can still say, “This isn’t the end of the story.”

Joy is able to look through the trials of the moment and find happiness in the anticipated outcome. Joy gives us power to get through those tough times, and provides happiness in the midst of those times that others may not understand if they do not have the assurance of Gods care.

This is the same kind of joy that was demonstrated when Paul and Silas had their feet placed in stocks then they were thrown into a dreary philippian dungeon. It was this difficult situation that prompted them to sing! Their response is so opposite of what would generally be expected. It must have looked odd and uncanny to their fellow prisoners for them to be singing in those dreary circumstances. Paul and Silas found joy and happiness despite their position because of their knowledge of God and His care. God used their joy in these circumstances to affect the hearts of the prison keeper and his family, who eventually professed their faith in God.

Jesus also experienced this kind of joy. His faith in the promise of His father that our salvation would be assured by His death on the cross brought Him joy and strength to endure the trial.

“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

“Happiness drawn from earthly sources is as changeable as varying circumstances can make it; but the peace of Christ is a constant and abiding peace… Christ is the fountain of living water, and happiness drawn from Him can never fail.” — Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, p. 16

Joy isn’t adrenaline. It’s assurance.
It’s not a good mood, but a good anchor.

I once had a patient who was diagnosed with aggressive cancer—The patient told me, “I feel okay, whatever happens. God is in charge, nothing comes to me except through Gods merciful hand.  That gives me something steady underneath.” That’s joy. Not something we produce. It’s Something we receive.

What you can say:

• “You’ve been through so much. And yet you still have a good attitude. Where do you get your strength and joy from?”
• “Joy doesn’t mean smiling through the pain. Sometimes it means just not giving up on the assurance that someone bigger than us is in charge, and they will make things work out for our good— that assurance and the joy it provides is something sacred.”

Practical insight: People want joy that outlasts their pain. Joy is a chance to introduce endurance as a spiritual muscle, not just a personality trait.

PEACE: The Hardest Thing to Fake

What the world thinks:

Peace is the absence of conflict or noise or drama.

What the soul really longs for:

A quiet confidence that says, “I’m held. I’m not alone. I don’t have to be in control.” Even when life is absolutely chaotic.

There’s a reason Philippians 4:7 calls it “the peace that passes understanding.”  the world does not understand a peace that can be present in the midst of chaos.  It’s not logical. It’s otherworldly. And because it’s so rare, people notice it.

“He who spoke peace to the billows of Galilee has spoken the word of peace for every soul… In His love the heart is at rest.”
(Desire of Ages, 336.4)

“It is the love of self that destroys our peace… but when we are dead, and our life is hid with Christ in God, we shall not take neglects or slights to heart.”
— Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, p. 16

You don’t need to preach to give people a taste of that peace. You just need to be a non-anxious presence and offer language that opens the door.

What you can say:

• “You’ve been carrying this alone for a long time. I wonder what peace would feel like for you—even if nothing changed.”
• “I can’t fix this, but I can be here. And sometimes, peace starts where there is presence.”

Practical insight: Peace is magnetic. The world doesn’t understand it, but the world can feel it. Your peace might be the first clue that God is real.

Putting It All Together in Ministry and Medicine

As a physician or pastor, you are always toggling between compassion and caution. You want to care for people deeply—without coming off as preachy. That’s the tension of our calling. But here’s the truth:

You don’t need to be religious to talk about love, joy, and peace. You just need to be real.

These spiritual fruits are native to the human soul. They resonate with everyone. And once you start listening for them in conversation, you’ll hear people asking for them all the time—even if they don’t know that’s what they’re doing. These 3 traits, although desired by all people they don’t have to come across as religious.  Yet, we recognize them as the fruits of the Holy Spirit.  They indicate where the Holy Spirit has been at work.. 

There is a quote that goes like this,

“WHEREVER there is an impulse of love and sympathy, WHEREVER the heart reaches out to uplift and to bless others, it is THERE that is seen the working of Gods Holy Spirit. —(Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 385.1)

The word WHEREVER means “in any case, anywhere you see it, without restriction”.  This can be seen in a life that knows the name of Jesus or one that has not been introduced to a close relationship yet. Regardless of the individual, if you see the presence of these fruit, it will still be evident to the observant eye what power has been at work in the life. 

I once asked a patient that I knew well, and who stated they had no religion, “Do you have impulses of love and sympathy for others? They said they did.  I asked further, “Do you have a heart that reaches out to uplift and bless others?”  Again, they nodded in the affirmative.  I then read the above quote to them and pointed out, “This means you have evidence in your life of the working of Gods Holy Spirit, God Himself is at work in you and through you”.  When the patient realized I was telling them their life proved God was working in them giving them these fruits, it brought them to tears.  Those were Holy tears of conviction.  Likewise, if the moment becomes right, you can point out to the patient that the source of each of these three fruits can be found in Jesus.

Final Word: Love, Joy, and Peace Aren’t the Goal—They’re the Gateway

Here’s the deeper lesson I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way:

The more I focus on myself—how I sound, how I’m perceived, how effective I’m being—the less loving, joyful, and peaceful I become.

It’s the love of self that destroys our peace.
But when self is surrendered—when Christ lives in me and not just beside me—then the fruit grows on its own.

“When we receive Christ as an abiding guest in the soul, the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, will keep our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
— Desire of Ages, p. 336

We don’t manufacture these gifts.
We reflect them.
We carry them like lanterns through dark rooms—and you should be aware of a natureal trait of people to follow the light.